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I’ll send you the first three chapters of my book titled, “Read the Book: One Way to Live Effectively” and a two-page PDF that includes some of my best practices as a female balancing leadership and motherhood.

Can you remember January of this year? Haha. No joke my friends. I mean for real! Do you remember starting this year? You were a different person weren’t you? Christmas was over and for many of us we were working, headed back to school and picking our “words” for the new year.

As I reflect on this past winter, I remember seeing social media filled with words, themes, and scriptures for 2020. Our leaders would introduce or review vision and goals. Things were reorganized. Plans were made. A new semester with new goals and new calendars, a new year and a new decade began to dawn on us. We had our goals and resolutions solidified. Then it was all interrupted, quite rudely I might say. ;) Even those who said something like “I don’t do new years resolutions because they don’t work” have found their lives not working the way they thought it would.

When thinking about January have you noticed that most of the words and themes for this year were very similar? Here are some of the themes I can remember:

Be more purposeful

Live in the present

Being more intentional

Thrive

Becoming

Being “enough” (Not try to please everyone.)

Focus on my place/my seat at the table

Being faithful in the little things (This was mine.)

My scripture for 2020 is,

“If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large things. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.” Luke 16:10 NIV

Thinking more, I have found all of our themes and scriptures have (for the most part) had a path cleared for them right before us. The Lord was faithful to allow and in some respects, create atmospheres and situations that have put us to the test. These issues force us to face the truth.

Do we really believe what we are saying?

Do we really want to get this right?

I believe so. I believe these and other goals were directly from the heart of God. This year has been hard but He has had grace and mercy on us and there is still more grace and mercy to come!

Still, we wrestle with tensions from sin, our past, other people, and our values when we are learning, growing, transitioning and becoming. Besides prayer, Bible reading, and staying faithful to our church groups (however those look right now), what else can we do to steward the tensions we face that we can’t avoid?

Here are four thoughts I regularly focus on when I feel stretched thin and at the same time still believe the pressure is producing something of eternal value.

1. Surrender to the situation rather than trying to control or fix it.

I am learning it is very western American Christian of me to want to have a process and control EV. ERR. EE. thing. Yes! Take steps towards Christ-likeness but remember it is the Word that lights our path and it is the Lord who created the path for us. We are not the source of the next step.

If you’re like me, I need reminded that God is in the mess, to embrace the mess rather than run from it. He desires our growth out of messy situations more than us just being clean christians. A clean yet immature christian will make for a dirty immature human eventually. Surrender is a powerful agent for the growth of our integrity and character. Surrendering to the situation instead of avoiding it, fighting it, or faking it will stimulate growth.

2. Stoop down in humility, set your limits and release the outcome to the Lord. 

A few months ago I was leading a Bible study with my book via zoom. One of the gals asked the question, “What is surrender?” Many ladies gave their responses and examples, my favorite answer was, “Obeying the Lord and letting him control the outcome.” So in this season, even if it’s not turning out how you preferred, are you obeying? True obedience requires faithfulness and faithfulness requires humility.

Giving ourselves permission to not be in charge of our lives is against our nature. When seasons are filled with tension choosing humility by being honest about our commitment to obedience and understanding our limitations is very healthy.

Side Note: Hannah is my favorite mentor on this issue! Learn more from her in 1 Samuel chapters one and two! She’s amazing.

3. Serve those who represent specific values, especially those who may add to the tension you experience. 

Are you a working mom? Do you have a job? Are you married? Then surely there is pressure in your life. You serve the Lord first, take care of yourself, love your husband, raise your kids and work for an employer. Each of these individuals will add tension to your life because there are needs and expectations.

Let’s look at this on a bigger scale with the issue of social injustice. Are we listening and learning about racism and white privilege? Do we lean into the pressure of how that requires change and growth so that we are better coworkers, church members, and neighbors? Are we learning about human trafficking? Or, are we so tired of the 2020 narrative that we just can’t take it anymore?

Are we serving those who represent a specific value with a need that is unmet? When under pressure, serve, serve, serve.

4. Simplify your life.

What is essential? What is non-essential in this season?

Here are some things to discover: Is it beneficial to pause on that project for a break? Who should get my time? Who is taking my time? Is it healthier to turn off all of the electronics or to have a movie marathon? Would it benefit you to have a hard conversation so a situation doesn’t drag on? What division is created by your words? What are you allowing by your silence? Can you clean the clutter or should you ignore the laundry and put it in the other room so that you can breathe a little easier today? Do you need to read your Bible today or talk with a counselor, or both?

We are all different so our responses to these thoughts will be different. I always say, “Less is more.” and so far I have found it to be a good rule of thumb when things get complicated or overwhelming.

One way to embrace the mess and steward the tensions we are facing is to exist intentionally, be faithful in the little things, learn when to say “this is enough” for today. Sure, we can pray and then “I change” BUT there are times we are to create change and bring life, and then that life gets stunted. Being faithful takes time. There is a real enemy who loves to steal, kill, and destroy. He also likes to use people and systems to make it happen. So I’d like to know, when you are stuck, how do you keep going? Let us know in the comments!