How to Lead Children in Uncertain Times

We are in a unique season and I want to equip you to lead your children in uncertain times. To start, let me share a story that I have always been inspired by.

A long time ago a woman gave birth in secret. Since this was before the time of ultrasounds she learned that her child was a boy once he made his first appearance. Her worst nightmare had come true and it was completely out of her control. Every baby boy was to be killed and she had just delivered a darling son. This is the story of Moses. 

Pharaoh was the ruler of Egypt and he was afraid that his people would be overrun by the Children of Israel. Because of his fear he made a terrible choice to have all the baby boys killed. Moses’ mother chose to trust the Lord. This was her first choice. This choice would determine all other choices. This was the decision she would model for her daughter and generations to come. This decision can still inspire us today!

For a short time, she kept the baby a secret until he was strong enough to handle the pressure. She kept him until he was three months old and then placed him in an ark (a little floating basket) and she placed him in a river. Let’s pause here and come back to the story in a moment. There are so many ways this could go but I’m taking it somewhere very specific and I don’t want you to miss this.

You may have noticed that many of our politicians are making decisions out of fear, ignorance, and arrogance. Side note: this is not meant to be a political post this is a parenting post, but sometimes the two clash, so here we are! Due to the unique circumstances we are facing because of covid-19 many parents are forced to make a choice. That choice is to fear the Lord and model it, or not. Did you think I was going to say homeschool or public school? Nah.

This is what I am getting at… How do we lead our kids when we don’t know what the future will look like and we don’t have all of the facts? How do we lead our kids when the decision-makers aren’t making decisions and the influencers aren’t influencing? Friends, I am going to answer this spiritually and practically and I hope you exit out of this post feeling equipped and anointed to parent your child well in this next season.

{Spiritually}

Moses’ mother made an unusual choice to fear the Lord and care for her son in a way that was unique because she was living in a unique season. Later that little boy grew up to play a unique role in the Nation of Israel and the Nation of Egypt.

When we choose to fear the Lord instead of fearing covid-19, having an unfavorable president, wearing or not wearing masks, vaccines, fines, and losing rights, we can be confident that the Lord will be our protector and provider more than ever before.

When we choose to fear the Lord we can model this confidence for our children so that when they are the leaders of their own families, businesses, churches, cities, states, and nations, they too can lead with confidence in the Lord.

Choosing the fear of the Lord requires our love of this world to recede and to seek first the Kingdom of God. It’s not easy but neither is putting your three-month-old in a baby boat and surrendering him to the river.

Now, let’s return to the story we find in Exodus 1 and 2. Moses’ mother put him in an ark and placed the ark in the river among reeds and tall grasses. His older sister would watch after him from a distance and see the hand of providence move right before her eyes.

Baby Moses began to cry and Pharaoh’s daughter heard him. She found him and had compassion on him. Anyone else find it amazing how cute little chubby cheeks will cause a princess to ignore her dad’s laws and by God’s grace she gets away with it? See not only was Moses’ life spared, when we continue to read our Bible we learn that Miriam, his older sister, was sent to find her mother so that she could feed Moses until he was of age and could go live with the princess.

Let me break down a few significant points and because of time, my explanations won’t be exhaustive but I pray you’ll read slowly and allow the Holy Spirit to speak to you, especially in the area of parenting, and especially if you are burdened right now.

First, in the Bible, the word river is sometimes used figuratively for salvation. Our primary concern for our children should be to create an atmosphere (with our words and choices) that would cause them to love the Lord and want to have their own relationship with him. All of our choices should reflect that primary responsibility rather than the fact that I need to feed them, I need to educate them, and I need childcare. (Even though I do need to feed them, I do need to educate them, and I do need childcare.) Let’s purpose to invite the presence of God into our homes, our workplaces, our classrooms, our attitudes, and so on, for where the “river” is, there is salvation.

Read Ezekiel 47:1-12. Verse nine is amazing! Here are other scriptures to look up: Psalm 36:8, Psalm 46:4

Second, other times in the Bible the word river will figuratively speak of grief. As I thought about this I recognized Moses’ mother involved her daughter and her son in the process even though it brought grief. Instead of taking all of the responsibilities upon herself, she had age-appropriate conversations and gave them age-appropriate tasks. They worked together as a team. Miriam would watch over Moses and later connect her mother and Pharaoh’s daughter. Moses would eat, grow, and eventually leave his biological home. All of these circumstances included pain, facing fear and working together.

Here is a scripture where we can see “rivers” of tears: Psalm 119:136

Finally, and this is most the important spiritual point to me, Pharaoh’s daughter gave Moses to his mother so that she could nurse him. Can you imagine? Being paid to care for your child? This is a mother’s dream! I bet she didn’t see that coming but oh! I can only imagine how her heart was overwhelmed with joy. This scripture gives me confidence that the Lord will provide a way for me to care for and nurture my children during seasons as strenuous as these in which we live.

WOW! Isn’t He so good?

God will always provide a way even when we can’t see it.

Not to ruin the moment, but let’s continue and discover how we can practically lead our children in uncertain times.

{Practically}

First, develop the skill of thinking ahead.

Here is how: Imagine what things will be like in the future— one month from now. What is it like? Is covid-19 gone? Has the media stopped making people live in fear? Have the schools determined if they will be virtual or not? What if your child’s school has to shut down? Or your child is exposed? Consider the answers to these questions all negative. How then would you live? How can you prepare now for the worst even though you are hoping for the best?

Second, make decisions in categories. Let me unpack this idea briefly.

Back in the spring of 2020, my husband and I had a hunch that these quarantine phases would last longer than June. We decided to make a couple of plans for the fall of 2020. We looked at our priorities, our purpose, our finances, our jobs, our ministries, and the school our boys were attending, among other things. Instead of waiting to hear from our local government we made three different plans and allowed the pieces to fall into place over the summer.

Making choices in categories means, having a good plan, a better plan, and the best plan. Of course, if life went back to normal that would be the best, but if it doesn’t what can you predetermine ahead of time? Can you think ahead? Use forward-thinking to imagine, “If things don’t go back to the way they were, what tough decisions do I need to make?" Answer those questions and make those back up plans now. Do the research, have the conversations, start saving money, so that if you get plan B or even plan C, you can feel somewhat secure because you had already thought about it. I think forward-thinking and planning is one way the Lord provides for us.

Third, live a lifestyle that allows you to be “nimble.” (That’s my husband’s word choice, haha.) To keep it simple, can you begin to adjust your lifestyle so that you can afford better opportunities when making decisions? 

Fourth, remember, “It is not just me going through this. They are also going through this.” Being a parent means we are a “buffer,” we take a lot of hits for our kiddos and as they grow up we help them learn how to stand and pace themselves without growing in fear or hatred of the outside world.

Lastly, find a community and reach out. We will feel the effects of this situation for the next ten years. This isn’t something we will climb out of in 2021. That means everyone will be facing something difficult so most likely they may not know that you need help. However, it doesn’t mean they can’t help you either. So if you aren’t superman or wonder woman then do not hesitate to reach out. I know one single mother who bought a house with another single mother and they co-parented their children for years until one of them had a job offer in another area. Their daughters had a “sister” and the moms had help with parenting and other responsibilities. Don’t be afraid to nurture your relationships and reach out.

Honestly, this is such a huge topic and I don’t want to end this post too abruptly. So here is a list of things Trevin and I did while leading our children through the trauma of covid at the beginning of this year. These things helped bring stability to our schedules, life to our relationships, and health to our mental, emotional, and spiritual selves.

-Take breaks in the middle of the day. T worked (still works) from home and in the spring when we did virtual learning.

-Take a drive along the gorge. (Snacks and a blanket required.)

-Read out loud during quiet time or before bed.

-Lay down with them until they fall asleep at night time.

-Make sure mom gets a break.

-Take walks in the morning before work/school or just after dinner.

-Eat lunch and dinner outside to change the scene and get fresh air.

-Download Bible stories on iTunes and play the Bible on audio in the background.

-Be more diligent about devotions with our kids.

-Walk to a coffee spot. (On Saturdays my husband would take the boys to get a donut.)

-Talk with your older children and share with them their options. Allow them to contribute their ideas about the good plan, the better plan, and the best plan. 

-Let kids make decisions. (We let ours pick their masks.)

Okay, I know this is a lot of information but I’d love to hear from you: What is one thing you have been doing to maintain a connection with your kids during this crazy year? Let me know in the comments! If you want to receive more equipping and encouragement subscribe here!