43 Tips For A Great Sex Life — Stephanie A. Anderson

HERE. IT. IS. 43 AMAZING TIPS FOR A GREAT SEX LIFE!

From the beginning, I’d like to share four things that are foundational to a good sex life and all of the tips listed below. 1. This post isn’t like my usual posts but it’s a relevant issue so I’d like to share about it. 2. Having a great sex life can only happen in a safe environment, and when I say safe, I don’t just mean that the bed is soft and the person agrees on a safe word. I mean sex is safe in terms of your conscience and within the respectful limits that sex was designed to be experienced in. When you are forced to live outside of convictions or personal standards, then you won’t feel safe. 3. We must be willing to submit our convictions (about sex) to the standard of God’s word before we live by them. Guess what! He has high expectations for great sex for you!! 4. Sex is best experienced in a relationship between a man and a woman, who are married and choosing to spend the rest of their lives together.

Trevin and I have been married for over ten years and we have had to learn how to have great sex.

Here are 43 tips for a great sex life from Mr. & Mrs. Anderson:

Both parties have to have their own conviction about their sex life.

1. You both have to want to have a great sex life (neither person can settle here!)

Be selective about what you give your attention to.

2. Both individuals must have a standard of purity in their lives.

3. Get rid of SEX KILLERS! Things like porn, unforgiveness, bitterness, overwhelm, hidden sexual sins, overly sexualized tv shows, internet, social media including youtube and search engines like Google & Pinterest, will destroy your sex life before you ever get into the bedroom.

You have to work at it.

4. Find common ground. It’s rare when both spouses are equal in their sexual experiences and expectations. Both individuals are going to have to work at it, sooo make it fun instead of work!

5. Be patient over time, practice makes perfect. ;)

6. Talk gently every time it’s discussed.

You will have to be willing to learn.

7. One person may expect things the other has never thought of or tried before.

8. Good sex takes time. It takes time to get to know what each other prefers.

9. Be willing to learn, try again, and don’t give up on each other or yourself.

Be willing to sacrifice for great sex.

10. Avoid comparing sex lives. Some spouses aren’t as sexually compatible as others. You’ll hear stories from some couples about how they aren’t happy, or how they are more happy than you are. Their sex life can ruin yours just by comparison. (It’s not our business unless they are asking for help in confidence.)

11. Control your thoughts and put your insecurities aside. What this means is that you will both have to sacrifice to make your sex life great, you have to have courage and trust the other individual.

12. The person who is the most shy or the more conservative may have the most sacrificing to do, when it comes to trying new things. Keep this safe, simple, and pure!

13. Be brave enough to have great sex! Let’s not settle for cheap sex.

14. Be willing to invite your spouse to a spontaneous sexual experience.

Set goals.

15. Ahead of time, kindly but bravely communicate about your sex life and what you would like to experience.

16. In that conversation share what each of you are learning.

17. Keep a schedule if you are busy, make IT a priority, ask yourself:

How many times a week? What time of the day?

If you have kids, are there any times away from your kids that you can reconnect sexually? Go for it! Then finish house chores together.

18. Set times throughout the year that you have sex everyday or multiple times a day. Let me say it another way, have a honeymoon a couple times a year, even if it’s at home and you don’t take time off work. Literally put it on your calendar. Think “stay-cation” but way better!

Creativity.

19. Try new things.

20. Sex should never become routine. (I’m not just talking about the day and the time, I’m talking about what you do when you are alone with each other.) Creativity keeps it fun, and if the idea turns out to be lame, well, in our experience it’s usually hilarious.

Honesty.

21. Never settle for an ok sex life, (by not quitting on your spouse or yourself.)

22. Speak your mind (share what you are thinking and feeling, honesty is important.)

23. If your spouse is honest with you about an insecurity, don’t gossip about it, cover them. This is between you two. Work it out!

24. If someone is tired of the routine, say something. Listen and communicate about change.

Fun.

25. Be willing to laugh at yourself!

26. If you have never laughed with your spouse during sex then you are taking it too seriously and you need to try something new. Like stat!

Be Healthy!

27. Get movin! Great sex can be difficult when you are out of shape.

28. Great sex can be difficult if one or both of you aren’t taking care of yourselves and each other.

29. Prefer your spouses desires. (Would they like to have sex with a healthy spouse?)

30. Have good hygiene.

31. Shower, shave, brush your teeth…

32. Can we be straight with you? Just don’t be gross.

Set the atmosphere!

33. Start by communicating you have a desire to “roll around in the hay” … Trevin’s wording here.

34. Light some candles

35. Wait until the kids are asleep (that is, if you have them)

36. Lock the door for the love. No pun intended!

Tips for communicating about sex with your spouse:

37. Learn your spouse. (Are they shy about this topic or nah?)

38. Get clean. Communicate about past sexual experiences and sins. Then forgive. Forgive the act and forgive the lasting impact.

39. Know when it’s the right and wrong times to talk about your sex life. (Example: if I am in the middle of cleaning up my two year olds puke – no!)

40. Be willing to set or reevaluate your goals to have a better sex life.

41. Schedule a coffee date a few different times a year that you both can openly talk about your sex life.

-Schedule the conversation for a time that you’ll be in the right frame of mind. Try not to show up stressed out or ready to fight, show up ready to address a problem or set a goal together. You are a team. Discuss sex-pectations (is that a word now?) before birthdays, holidays, etc. So both individuals can look forward to something special.

42. Speak your mind, kindly and respectfully.

One last tip for great sex:

43. Don’t give up! Divorce, porn, affairs, sleeping on the couch, and silence aren’t the answer to a terrible sex life.

If you need to talk to someone about sex here is the kind of person we talk to:

1. Someone who has a solid marriage, (A redeemed marriage counts here too!)

2. Someone who is confidential.

3. Someone who is old. (Are we being too honest? Haha.) Preferably someone old enough to have adult children who have healthy marriages themselves. Basically someone who is #GOALS and has the evidence of a healthy marriage and life.

Okay, we have given you our best advice for a great sex life and notice we didn’t say pray about it? Although, since God is the creator of sex you could (and should) do that. I also recommend finding out what the Bible says about sex. (There you go! Tip #44 and #45 for free!)

Signing off on this post I’m not going to ask what tip you’re going to try this week but let me encourage you to share this post with your spouse. Have a conversation and have fun!

Enjoy your time with your love!

From, Trevin & Stephanie Anderson

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