Back in 2008, my husband and I were engaged. Our wedding was scheduled for Friday, September 26th. When planning our wedding, I had an idea I wanted to try. It was a big idea that I had never done before and I wasn’t sure I could pull it off.
I’ll tell you what it is in a minute, but I want you to know, I did it! And the benefits of this were so rewarding, I’ve been doing it for about 16 years now. I’m grateful I gave it a shot even though it seemed daunting.

Now here is the thing: you’ll see why it can’t be done in your life. You’re instantly going to have a reason why you can’t do this. Most people are going to stop reading and give up here. But you aren’t like most people. You and I are leading ladies in our communities who are discovering more of who God is, and what His Word says about us, and developing our leadership to leave a Kingdom Legacy behind in our families, ministries, and workplaces. We’re embracing the messiness of life and carrying eternity in our hearts. We’re giving ourselves grace, choosing courage, and challenging ourselves all in the same day. I set my excuses aside. I’m so glad I did and I believe you can do it too! Are you ready? Here is what I did, I gave myself the gift of time.

You might be thinking, What does she mean by that? Let me share the story. While our wedding was scheduled for Friday, September 26th, I planned to have everything ready by Friday, September 19th. (All besides the flowers and cake, which were someone else’s responsibility to complete.) Seriously, I spent those nine months wondering if I could do it; if it was possible to guard that last week.

Up until that time, I always lived by the due date. Not anymore. Here’s what happened: I blocked the week out in my calendar, so when the appointments for nails, last-minute deliveries, and brunches, were being scheduled I was reminded of my goal. I fought to guard that time. I didn’t let myself slip and think, “Well, THIS is okay to put in that week.”

Once we got to the week before our wedding, we worked a normal schedule. We were able to get good sleep and enjoyed time with family and our wedding party because we weren’t pressed for time with appointments. I wasn’t worried about any tasks with a last-minute due date of my choosing. Sometimes life is crazy busy and we do it to ourselves, ya know?! We enjoyed the week before our wedding because most everything was already taken care of, and for what wasn’t done, there was a plan and loads of extra time to attend to that plan.

Let me share another example: Fast forward to life today with kids. Because I know being responsible for other humans makes a huge difference. It takes my family 20 minutes to get to church. As church planters, we are setting up and tearing down in a middle school before and after our services. Our goal is to arrive 10 minutes before our team does. So we leave the house 30 minutes before we need to arrive, rather than only 20 minutes before we need to arrive. This gives us a full 10 minutes for anything to come up. Like our car not starting, a last-minute stop for gas, arriving and getting settled before the team shows up, spending extra time with the Lord, etc. These are all real things that happened and having those extra 10 minutes made the difference in our outlook on those situations. These 10 minutes keep our mornings in a place of surrender. We’re not striving to lead in our own strength.

Giving ourselves the gift of time, positions us to walk with a “lean” in our step. Regardless of what happens, we’re leaning on the anointing, rather than being pressed for time and defaulting to our own wisdom and experience. We’ve got the time to pause and listen to the Holy Spirit, rather than provide a solution on our own.

I do this with work, family trips, holidays, and events, ALL. THE. THINGS. It is so rewarding especially when you want to steward your relationships well. I’m confident you can start to build this into your lifestyle too. You’ll love that you did.

Giving ourselves the gift of time, whether it be an extra ten minutes or being prepared for an event a week beforehand, gives us the space to hear and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. He will speak to us and help us see where we need to direct our efforts before the big meeting, or the big day. In these last 16 years, I’ve discovered this practice silences the worries and the to-do lists, so that I’m more in tune with the Holy Spirit and I’m better at resting and playing while on vacation or observing our weekly Sabbath day. Any time there is a curve ball in life or I realize I’ve forgotten something, things are less stressful and less emotional because there is plenty of time to process and proceed. When I am rushed or pressed for time, I am reduced to checking off my to-do list and getting rid of those sticky notes, and my impact is limited. I’m unable to see how I can make a difference because I’m stuck racing the clock. Does that sound like you? I promise there is a way to overcome it.

Maybe you need more convincing. Maybe you need reasons to quit living in a hurry. Let’s talk about racing the clock for a minute…

Racing time can reveal our insecurities. Not that we should hide our insecurities, but I say that to reveal the dynamic of needing to beat the clock. How we respond to the time we have can uncover what’s inside. I know you are hungry to make a difference in your corner of the world. It’s in all of us as God placed us here during such an unprecedented era. I believe you ARE called to make a significant impact in today’s world. But let me warn you, putting in the effort to create time and work ahead will reveal what’s happening inside our hearts.

How does spending time uncover

what’s in the deep?

When we are living in a hurry something is revealed, it could be an undeveloped discipline, or going deeper, a broken or undeveloped understanding of our identity.

We will spend our time in performance and transaction-based mindsets and behaviors. We tell ourselves it’s the ROI, when really what we’re getting in return is simply more hustle. We fill our time forgetting that success is obedience to the Lord, not completing an assignment for man’s approval, a Google review, a new client, or a promotion.

Think about rushing little kids out the door for school. They get in a flurry because their parent is in a hurry. In the adult’s pressing, they can’t understand why the kids aren’t listening and struggle to obey fast, or why their teens want to emotionally disconnect. Their spouse will go quiet to minimize the draining feeling as “the time” (aka, we the hurry-er) is pushing everyone around.

Leaders must learn to manage their time. I know this is obvious at the start, and we hear this from everyone, but it’s difficult to put into practice and NO ONE says it like this… Managing our time is not always about finding a color-coded block on our schedule to put a task in. Sometimes managing our time is about managing our emotions in the time we’ve set, or haven’t set, to prepare for or complete a task. (Read that last statement again. It’s packed!)

Learning to manage our time includes developing discernment so that we can understand the times and seasons we are in. Discerning what God is doing in and around us, can keep us from doing work that years later we discover was no longer relevant in the long run because time changes things. This includes emotional work. This includes choosing faith over what we do or don’t see.

So what does racing time uncover if we’re willing to dig deeper?

Let me share what I’ve observed in others and have learned from personal experience in bullet points to save us, you guessed it, time. ;)

• Racing time can reveal if we struggle with executive functioning.

• Racing time can reveal we haven’t found the right tools to help us get things done. i.e. calendars, apps, devices, resources, mindsets, etc. 

• Racing time could reveal we haven’t been trained and equipped properly.

• Racing time can reveal our independence. Cuz if you want it done right…

• Racing time reveals our striving to live our values and priorities. Furthermore revealing our immaturity or lack of discipleship in those places.

• Racing time can reveal we haven’t allowed people to see the real us, or we haven’t given permission to speak into our lives to say “Slow down.” “Reset.” “This pace isn’t healthy for you.” “How can I help you learn to manage your time?” “Here’s what I see…” We need people to speak into our lives. As female leaders, our dependence is an important ingredient for humility and for understanding the times and seasons we live in. Independance closes our hearts and minds to asking for perspective. People can feel our unhealthy levels of independence.

• Racing time can reveal our pride in having to be the first person to speak up in any particular situation. Ask me how I know. ;)

• When we race the clock, we make the mistake of thinking we are THE voice people need to hear when we are meant to speak for the Lord.

• Racing the clock soaks up our time to hear from God. We pray less. We wait less.

• Living in a hurry can reveal a lack of understanding of our self-worth. We don’t take care of ourselves and show up half-ready.

• Racing the time reveals we don’t cherish the time we’ve been given and we’ll struggle to be grateful for each day.

• Racing time can reveal a spirit of competition, trying to prove ourselves worthy, or just the opposite…

• We struggle to keep to the clock because we don’t think our time and efforts matter, so we race because we’re late.

• Racing to speak doesn’t always show initiative. Sometimes it shows we care more about our reputation and what people think. (Proverbs talks about people who talk too much. I’d like to suggest talking too much sometimes can look like talking too soon, without first asking questions and listening well, discovering the facts, or hearing both sides of the story.)

• Finally, racing time can reveal we don’t have a vision for our lives. We didn’t invest any thought earlier when we had the chance, due to a lack of motivation or concern at the moment.

Friends, I know what it feels like to live at an unrealistic pace. Culture says we have to live at a certain pace, either live at a snail’s pace off the grid, or at the speed of light anywhere else. I’m here to challenge you to break from culture, from the pressure to be at all the things, do all the things for the kids, have all the things completed and by a certain age. Living in a hurry adds anxiety and worry that we don’t need. Rather than being weighed down, look at the bullet points above as growth opportunities.

Friend, you are invited to live free from counting the minutes.

Simple ways to give yourself the gift of time as we reflect on the second half of 2024.

First, look ahead. Scripture tells us without a vision people will perish/wander. Ask yourself: what do I want to carry with me into the fall and holiday season? We can choose joy and gratitude, instead of anxiety and worry when we have the space to think through our days and our relationships, ultimately surrendering them to the Lord.

Second, find an “outcome” or “launch” to prepare for. A personal example without a due date that I had was preaching. I knew in my heart I was called to preach, so even though I wasn’t on a regular speaking schedule, I studied the Bible. I practiced in the mirror, read every book I could get my hands on, followed & studied dynamic preachers of the past and today, and prayerfully took each opportunity to develop my gift of communication. (Social media, blogging, writing a book, speaking at events, etc.)

So what’s in store for you?

Is there a God-sized dream you have for the future, even if you don’t have a specific date? Is there an event on your calendar that you can prepare for ahead of time? Is there an appointment on your weekly calendar that you can give yourself an extra 10 minutes to breathe and pray before walking in? Is there a day of the week your immediate family or roommates know that you recognize and honor as the Sabbath? (I’ve found that 6 pm to 6 pm the next day works best for our family when blocking time out on our calendar.)

Third, make a plan. Sometimes we start with the end in mind and work backwards to create the plan. In your plan, create margins of time and block them out. Then we work forward, guarding those blocked minutes/days/weeks.

Finally, move forward and adjust as you learn and as the Lord leads. Adjusting doesn’t always mean failure in your planning. So there is no shame in adjusting as you go. Adjusting means you’re growing, you’re humble, and you’re following the Holy Spirit.

Scripture tells us in Ecclesiastes 3:11 “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart, yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

You have big dreams for the future and weighty responsibilities on your shoulders today. Remember, all that God is doing in your life, and all that He has trusted you to steward will be made beautiful in its timing.

We are to run our race not against the clock, but for the prize of knowing Jesus and becoming more like him. Hebrews 12:2 tells us He is the author and finisher of our faith. I LOVE the New International version that says Jesus is the pioneer and the perfecter of our faith. This shows us, the one who modeled living by faith perfectly is walking with us today. He knows the way. He is the way.

So as we wrap up these summer months, and look towards the end of 2024, how will you gift yourself time? How can you loosen the grip and surrender your time, ultimately trading anxiety, worries, cultural pressures, personal expectations, and the little “what abouts” and “what ifs” for joy, gratitude, and a freedom only surrender can bring?

xo, Steph

Scriptures to take with you into the second half of 2024:

Proverbs 16:9

“In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.”

Ps. 90:12

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

2 Cor. 6:2

“For he says, “In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.” I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.”